“There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you”, Zora Neale Hurston
Me being a suicide loss survivor is no secret now. For so many years, I yearned for an empathizing pair of ears to listen to my story and possibly a shoulder lent to cry on. Hardly anyone cared to provide me with such support. But today, my post on surviving suicide loss has got me more than enough empathy and support to compensate for all the times I was deprived of some much needed compassion. One such impactful support that Dr Nandini and I obtained was the introduction to an amazing audio platform called bakstage by FLYX.
My coming out of the closet of suicide grief has happened already, during the book launch of Dr Nandini’s, Left Behind and through the blog post that ensued. But talking about it out loud is a whole new ball game I wasn’t truly prepared for. Having Dr. Nandini along and being supported by Mugdha’s empathizing words gave me the courage to open up about my loss, grief and healing.
When my voice did not quiver nor tremble while recounting in vivid details, the worst phase of my life, I was really taken by surprise. But then, that was enough for me to know with conviction, that after all these years, I am finally starting to properly heal. People tell me I am brave for speaking up and for offering support to other suicide loss survivors through my voice. But by doing this: by giving back to this cause and by helping others, I am healing more mindfully than ever before. It’s in wanting to help others heal, I discovered a way to help myself heal and possibly grow and so I am grateful for all such opportunities that open up.
This is sort of a comeback for me for all the times I silently walked with my head held down, ignoring all the filthy comments that came my way. Know that this is just the start. The stigma, shame and all the victim blaming associated with suicide losses needs to be rooted out and it will be as more of us speak up. And I will do my bit, always, and for as long as it would take to create the needed impact.
The recording of our talk that happened on 1st of July can be accessed through this link, which automatically downloads the bakstage app that’s needed to listen to the talk.
Alternatively, the downloaded audio can also be directly accessed here;
Do listen in and hear from us, our perspectives on surviving suicide loss in a society that stigmatizes people like us from the word go. I would like to leave you with a thought that deeply resonated with me on my decade long grieving;