Goodbye

The story of my recent breakup

The day I first met you, you made my heart flutter. You made me nervous, as bringing you into my life meant acknowledging the big change that is happening in me. My dad got me to see you, when he thought I was finally ready.One glance at you and I wondered if you were way too sophisticated for me. I looked to dad hoping that, he will help me banish my fears, instead he came closer and whispered “Ummm, forget it, lets move on”. Yet, that did not stop me from falling for you.

I wanted to be with you since the moment I laid my eyes on you. “Are you sure” I was asked- I nodded my head and came to you, letting my guard down and completely surrendering myself. Since then we have been inseparable. When I came to you I believed you will help me know myself better and trust me when I say this, you managed to do that veryΒ well.

Yes, I did invest a lot of time and effort in you, some of those days you made me smile and rest of the days, I gave up sooner than I should have. Now looking back, I think I shouldn’t have, for you made me who I am.

You loved me unconditionally, you bore it all only to show me how strong I actually am, you enabled me take that little step towards success on multiple occasions, just when I wanted to give up, and most of all you shattered the barriers my mind had built against itself all my life, thus making me believe in my own abilities.

I still remember the first time we were successful together. Despite the chaos, the skepticisms and the distractions, we achieved it together! But the outside world did not see us, they saw only me- they praised me, glorified me, called me an achiever while you were standing in the wings, watching silently. Nobody knew the part you played in making me that winner, yet that did not stop you from making me better. Also at times when I under estimated you and treated you like an ordinary – stomping on my foot and cursing you – you never once gave up on me.

Thank you for all of that. It was not that I did not want to give you credits, its just that people never believed it when I proudly claimed you were the reason behind my success. They looked down upon me and overnight I became a laughing stock. They whispered, shell shocked, “Are you mad” for choosing you over others. They even went to the extent of grumbling, again in undertones, “your choices have always been crappy”. You possibly couldn’t have heard all of that, yet I want to apologize for their behavior, and I am all the more sorry for not fighting for you and leaving that place without saying a word, dragging you along. You knew that at times, I did feel that I shouldn’t have chosen you, yet you persisted, breaking one hurdle after another for me and making me believe in my own abilities over and over again.

I just cannot thank you enough for everything you did to me but you know, I still have a long way to go, which is why I want to tell you now, that you cannot be a part of my journey anymore. I know this must be shocking. But its a well thought out decision. From being doubtful if I am worthy of you I have progressed to start wondering if you are worthy of me anymore. I know this is harsh but I am sorry I have to do this. You cannot play the pivotal role in my life anymore- I cannot handle this anymore. You are no longer how you used to be. You are not strong enough to even tolerate me forget helping me. I would love to have you around, to see me emerge more and more successful but I would hate to know that you are reduced to the lay state as just a watcher. So please just go and never come back.

I know I am being totally remorseless here, but come on be practical we cannot go on like this anymore. Last couple of times you let me down, not because you wanted to but because you couldn’t bear it anymore. Face it you are WEAK! Not your fault, you are bound to become weak after all that I did to you. Now please don’t make it any harder for me and just leave.

But wait. Before going, just know that you were the first and will always be my special one. I will cherish the days we spent together for the rest of my life. Please don’t be hurt that I am leaving you for your more sophisticated cousin. I had to do that! All I can say is “I am sorry”. I don’t know how I am going to face Dad with this new announcement now, hope he understands. Hope you understand!

Thank you for being there with me when I needed you: protecting me and encouraging me at the same time. All your efforts paid off very well: I am now a much better person than how I was when I first met you. But now, its finally time to say Goodbye!

Goodbye Asics Gel Foundation Shoes, I know I paid a heavy price to get you onto my feet much to the agony of my Dad and to the ridicule of my friends. But to me you were totally worth it! You made me run faster, made me fitter and stronger both physically and emotionally. As you lay tattered beyond recognition, I dump you to go for your higher valued(read priced) cousin – Asics Gel Kayano. I just hope everyone, including my Dad do not really think that I have completely lost my mind for shelling out a fortune on shoes.

So what if they are running shoes with the most sophisticated Gel Cushioning system that makes marathons a breeze- they are shoes after all…

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